Do you ever wonder how people can say some of the things they do to others? Well, I sure do. Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about.

Many years ago, when I experienced a miscarriage, someone said to me, “Well, you already have one child, there’s lots of women that have none.” Come again? Really? Did you really just say that to me?  Wow! It is so annoying when others point out what I already know, but where is the compassion for how bad your heart is hurting for the loss of that unborn child? Does the sadness of the loss of that child diminish your love for the one you have that is living? God saw favor to bless me nearly three years later with my third pregnancy and second living child, but I feel pain for those who have suffered a miscarriage, whether it’s their first or tenth child.

About ten years later, my oldest daughter, fell to her knees in her bedroom screaming out in excruciating pain. Her father, being a physician, heard her, raced into her room and scooped her up in a flash. And I do mean so quickly I barely could intellectually process what was happening. As he was carrying her to the car, I heard “heading to the ER … her appendix has ruptured!” Before I had fully processed what had happened I heard the tires of his Camaro screeching down the dirt road we lived on. Fast forward 24 hours, I held the hand of a very sick little girl on the pediatric floor of the hospital, and as her physician motioned for me to come outside of her room to talk to me privately, somehow I had a sinking feeling he was about to tell me something I didn’t want to hear. And as all the blood rushed from my head, my body uncontrollably slid down the wall fainting as he delivered the news the pathology report came back that her appendix was cancerous. “The pathology report is being forwarded to a specialist at St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital in Memphis, Tennessee for further review” he said. Really? Did he really just tell me my child had cancer?

Two different experiences of being told things I didn’t want to hear. But then there have been other times when I’ve said, “Really?” Different occasions and scenarios.

Take for example, my husband and I participated in an Alumni group in Florida for my husband’s college alma mater. It so happens hubby’s team was playing and the alumni group was invited to gather at the home of one of the Orlando Magic teammates to tailgate and watch the game. It was a lively affair filled with libations and noise from all the cheering for the team. A young lady happens to walk over to me and says, “Hi! I’m a lesbian!” Come again? Really? Did you really just declare your sexuality to me, a complete stranger, at a public event? What does a heterosexual female say to a woman with a differing sexual point of view, I wondered? Being the somewhat Southern woman I am, I politely smiled and said, ” Nice to meet you.” And then I found my hubby and relayed the scenario to him. He too could not believe his ears. I said, “I know! Me either!” Now … just so you don’t miss the point. Not believing my ears had nothing to do with the fact that woman was a lesbian. That’s not really what fazed me, because I had heard others make that declaration during my lifetime. It’s not like it’s unheard of people have differing lifestyles to my own. And their differing lifestyles has no bearing on if I love them. But most people don’t come up to me at a sporting event and tell me they are a lesbian. But about that time, as hubby and I are standing next to the crudités trying to decide which to eat, said lesbian, standing within earshot introduces herself to someone else and suddenly I hear … ” Hi! I’m ELIZABETH! Come again? Really? Did she just say her name is ELIZABETH? Yes indeedy she said her name was Elizabeth. Really, she did.

Here is the moral of the story … sometimes people really do say things we don’t want to hear … and sometimes they do. In the end, I still on occasion think of that baby that I never got to hold in my arms and when I do, I don’t feel sadness. It’s just something that happened to me because after all, just as that friend reminded me, I have two beautiful daughters that God saw favor to bless my life with. And the daughter we sat on pins and needles two weeks waiting for the report to be confirmed for a cancer diagnosis? Turns out she had a non-cancerous carcinoid tumor and removing the appendix removed the tumor. Still will always be remembered as one of the most anxiety-ridden, frightening times in my life worrying about if my child might die.

And Elizabeth? Well, she very well may have been a lesbian. I don’t know nor do I care. She was a very nice young lady who gave me a big laugh and the heads up that I needed to see an audiologist stat! And I did find out my hearing is slightly diminished in my right ear. Not enough to mistake the word lesbian for the name Elizabeth but I got another big laugh when I relayed the story to the audiologist and she said …. “Come again?”