How Long is Long Enough?

As I sit here with my sweet six month old puppy, Maggie Mae, she climbs into my lap. Usually an ever moving ball of fur, who I can rarely catch if she’s on the move because she is small and fast and I am not, I view her climbing into my lap and falling asleep quite surprising. 

I make the move to pick her up, all the while knowing full well she’s gonna wiggle out of my arms or start nipping at my hands. To my dismay, she settles into my arms, puts her head on my shoulder and goes to sleep. And there she stays for 15 minutes. 

As I’m sitting there holding her, my mind begins to wander to when my children were babies. Ok .. I know, how absurd to compare a dog to a baby. Yep, even I’m doing the eye roll. 

What made me think of my babies while holding my puppy, though, is I kept thinking if I move Maggie, will wake up and this rare moment will pass. 

That’s exactly how I felt with my Amy and my Meredith. Of course, those feelings were much much more poignant and deeper but nevertheless I kept thinking how long is long enough? 

Just like pets, humans have different personalities. One of my girls was a “live wire” and once she passed the six month mark, I was pretty sure she was ready for pre-school. She was always moving and never slept well. Bless her, she still suffers from that problem. 

My other daughter was calm and I could rock her and read those annoying Beatrix Potter books she loved to my own exhaustion and the minute I stopped she would awaken and look at me with a “why did you stop?” look in her eyes. 

My granddaughter would hardly be still enough to feed and certainly not to rock. My grandson allowed me to snuggle and kiss his sweet little cheeks as long as I wanted. 

So yes, here I am, asking myself how long is long enough? I don’t want to be that crazy dog lady or seem insane comparing my pet to a beloved child and grandchild. On the other hand, with my youngest daughters thirtieth birthday on the horizon in a few days, as well as her wedding in a few weeks, and with my grandchildren hitting milestones in their little lives, I am bordering on feeling as if I am losing a little piece of myself. 

Maybe there is no such thing as too long. I believe I will hold her, just as I did my children and grandchildren, until she no longer wants to be held. And just like my little ones, she will

let me know how long long enough is. 

Yes, I’ll sit here a while longer reminiscing, hoping no one sees me cradling a little dog like a baby because as it turns out, this writing is hardly about Maggie Mae. This what I need today. And that’s ok. Really, it is.