Sometimes you’re left bewildered and confused in life. You get to a point where you’ve given all you have to give. I mean ALL … and you’re still bewildered and confused.

People come and go in our lives but when you love someone you know you’ve made the commitment to never give up on them, whether it be in a marriage, the love for your child or a friendship.

Relationships are bound to have struggles as the human spirit is imperfect. In a marriage, if you honor your wedding vows, you will work and forgive and work a little harder and forgive a little more. In a healthy marriage you can remain committed and experience love again and again because with each “hiccup” you recommit to forgive.

When my children were teenagers they brought the phrase “unconditional love” to my attention. Hurtful at the time, it did not deter me from being a responsible parent trying to teach them right from wrong and loving them at the same time. Soft parenting doesn’t teach children responsibility or respect because if you cannot submit to the authorities of your parents and teachers, you will never see the importance of the rules and code of conduct an employer will expect of you. Did I adore and love my children with my whole heart? You bet I did and it was a love they would never fully understand until they had children of their own. It was unconditional love with boundaries.
I’ve hated the phrase unconditional love since those teenager years of my children.

To love without condition is impossible, in my opinion, on this side of heaven, because if we don’t set boundaries then you risk being hurt, being taken advantage of or worse being a dishonest version of yourself. True love is responsible. It is a commitment to hold yourself in high enough esteem which enables you to then offer that same love to others.

Love in your marriage, your children and in your friendships is a commitment that requires a responsibility to your words and actions. Your words and actions must match up.

Love your spouse, love children, love your friends with kindness but also with the ability to gently hold them accountable so that everyone gets respect. Isn’t that we all want?

I’ll leave the phrase “unconditional love” for a power higher than myself because I’ve come to realize I’m human and incapable of it.